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Bridey, one of the most difficult parts of planning your wedding is choosing the right venue. I mean, there are so many factors to consider, and people to please that what used to be a fun experience has turned into more of a daunting task. Sorry, but true story! So, rather than let it get the best of you (and quickly), get your shit together before you start your journey so that you don’t end up wasting a ton of your time, and that of those trying to help you. How? Well, let me help you get started before you lose your mind!

First of all, bridey, do your homework. I know that it’s super exciting to start the process of searching for the right venue, but before you can even begin researching potential venue sites, you and your sig other need to sit down and determine a few important factors. Do your homework! Because, now is not the time to be impulsive. Outside of the down payment for your house, this is going to be the next biggest expense of your life. So, don’t fuck it up by being impulsive and reckless. Determine your budget (give or take). Determine an approximate number of guests so that you know which venues will work, and which ones won’t. Determine reasonable accommodations and concessions for your guests… etc. etc. etc.

1. Budget: I know that this is difficult, but bridey, it’s the most important factor when choosing your venue. At the very least, try to figure out what you have to spend overall (wedding venue, plus size bridesmaid dresses, flowers, transportation, etc.), and what you have to spend on your venue (where you’ll spend approximately 50-60 percent of your total budget). Have a “worst case scenario,” and a “best case scenario” mapped out, and be honest. Better to overshoot than undershoot when it comes to your budget.

2. Number of Guests: While there is no way to know the exact number of guests this early in the game, at the very least try to figure out an approximate number. Why? Well, if you begin visiting sites without knowing how many people you’re going to have at your wedding, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You’ll fall in love with a place that will either be too cavernous or too small, and ultimately, you will need to start your search over. Why put yourself through that, bridey? So, chat with your sig other, poll your parents, and set some boundaries (based on budget)… Then go look!

3. Aesthetic + Reality: Really pretty basic, no? Are you an ocean side bride or a hotel bride? Are you a rustic bride or modern bride? What do you see when you daydream? Narrow it down. Start where you think you will end. Got something brewing? Great! Well, now compare what you know about your aesthetic against your budget (aka, reality). For example, I know I like modern furniture, but I also know that it tends to cost a shitload more than “normal” furniture. Ohhhhh… yeah…

Okay, it’s your turn, bridey. Want an outdoor wedding at a your parent’s house? Sounds lovely! But, stop and think for a sec… Think about renting every.single.item. from forks to bathrooms to power generators (for the DJ, caterer, lighting, etc.)… Yup! Your guests will need to pee, and 3-4 bathrooms for 150 guests just won’t cut it. The DJ will most certainly need power to rock the night away, right? See where I’m going, bridey? Perhaps you will need to curb your aesthetic to match your budget…

4. A DIY Bride or Not a DIY Bride? That is the Question!: I am not a DIY girl. I would much rather hire people who know what they’re doing than waste my time trying. Sad, but true. How this pertains to you, bridey? Well, if you decide on a venue that lacks the aesthetic you were going for, then get ready to roll up your sleeves. And, I’m not just talking about making cute centerpieces. I am talking about schelping in tables, chairs, linen, etc. etc. etc., and obviously you’re not going to do it on your wedding day, so therefore you need to determine who is, and then pay them to do so. This scenario has the potential to be BRUTAL and costly. Not your thing? Well, then perhaps a full service venue is looking like the better choice, no?

5. Concessions & Accommodations: I know your wedding day is about you and your sig other, but please consider your guests. It doesn’t have to be ALL about your guests, but do consider their needs and then do your best to accommodate them. For instance, if you’re having an outdoor ceremony on a hot summer day, then provide cold drinks and fans. Bringing your guests to the middle of nowhere USA for the weekend? That’s cool, just know that you’ll have to accommodate their needs for the entire weekend, not just the day of your wedding. We’re talking the rehearsal dinner, wedding day and brunch the next morning. And, these concessions and accommodations? Well, they will definitely dig into your budget, so plan accordingly.

Bridey, as you start your wedding planning journey, take these suggestions and run with them. Remember, for most of you, finding your sig other took time and several “mistakes” before you found “the one.” Finding your venue is no different, except this time, you’re going into it with your eyes wide open. Got it?! Good!

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“It was a very gloomy day, not a lot of light to work with, but it actually matched the theme of the wedding and turned out great,” said Holly Aldridge, owner of About to Snap Photography, who shot pictures of the event.

A match made

The relationship between Eastman, a nurse at Saint Francis Hospital, and Pauley, a retired contractor, began — as you might expect — in a somewhat unconventional setup.

“We met through his cousin and my maid of honor at Hooter’s in Kanawha City,” Eastman said.

They’ve been together ever since.

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Pauley proposed at their home just more than a year later, on Aug. 14, 2014, a couple of weeks before their respective birthdays.

“He asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday,” Eastman said.

She was indifferent, but Pauley had his own idea.

“He said, ‘Well, I know what I want to do; I’m going to ask you to be my wife,’” Eastman said.

This is Eastman’s first marriage and Pauley’s second. Pauley has two kids, Seth and Sarah.

Making plans

Eastman and Pauley have been carefully preparing their fall ceremony for the last year.

“We figured out what date and other big things we wanted first,” Eastman said.

“Then, we just took our time, buying things when we had the money.”

Having the wedding on Halloween was Eastman’s idea, but Pauley has gone along with it from the start.

“He said, ‘Whatever you want to do is fine with me,’” Eastman said.

“We’ve done it all ourselves. It’s actually been a lot of fun doing this together.”

The couple gathered a lot of the seasonal decorations, like glitter pumpkins, plastic skeletons and creepy fabrics from holiday sales.

“We got a lot during this year and last Halloween,” Eastman said.

A ‘Nightmare’ of a theme

Once they had a date and began gathering smaller items, Eastman started thinking of ways to incorporate pieces of her favorite film, “The Nightmare Before Christmas,” including the main characters, Jack Skellington and Sally, into her big day.

“I even have a tattoo of them on my right forearm,” she said.

Naturally, that kind of devotion meant putting her own twist on the typical wedding details. Members of the bridal party, for example, were decked out in Jack Skellington tights with the customary pinstripes and round skeleton head, topped off with trademark black and white tennis shoes. As for the bride, Eastman donned Sally tights complete with the stitchmarks and custom “Nightmare Before Christmas” Converse shoes.

Eastman even found full-sized figures of Jack, Sally and Zero, created by Tiffany Steele of Tiffany’s Custom Creations, as well as a custom cake topper of the skeletal couple and, yes, the movie soundtrack to play at various points throughout the ceremony and reception.

Details, details

The bride did wear white — with scrolling red tattoo designs, which matched her own.

“I do have a lot of tattoos,” Eastman said.

And when they said “’til death do us part,” they meant it, symbolizing their love with rings that were carried in a coffin-shaped box.

“Their vows were Halloween-themed,” Aldridge said. “I caught myself listening instead of actually taking the pictures because I was so into hearing what was coming next.”

The reception was planned as an old-fashioned pig roast on Lodge grounds.

“We raised the pig ourselves,” Eastman said.

Music, played by the aptly named DJ Undertaker (who arrived in a hearse), ranged from John Fogerty’s “Joy of My Life” for the couple’s first dance to country classic “Mama Tried” (for the mother-son dance) and “Just Fishin’,” by Trace Adkins (for the father-daughter dance).

Guests were given useful black stadium cups that say “To love, laughter and happily ever after” with the bride and groom’s names and the date to commemorate the occasion.

“It was the most creative wedding I’ve ever done. It seemed like everyone there loved Halloween,” Aldridge said.

The Pauleys are expected to return from their honeymoon in Walt Disney World this weekend, and plan to reside in Griffithsville.

“We’re both big kids,” Eastman said, when asked about their plans.

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Brides can now get hitched in a barn once owned by serial bridegroom King Henry VIII following a £1 million renovation.

The Great Barn at Headstone Manor, Harrow re-opened this month as an events and wedding venue after an eight month programme of extensive restoration and refurbishment costing nearly £1 million.

The Grade II* listed building was constructed in 1506 when the whole Manor was owned by the Archbishops of Canterbury.

After King Henry VIII acquired it during the Reformation, it passed into the hands of Lord North before it became part of a privately owned working farm.

In the 1930’s the local authority took it over and ownership transferred to the London Borough of Harrow in 1965.

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After 500 years, the future of the Great Barn and the other three historic buildings at Headstone Manor looked bleak as urgent repair works were needed to stop them falling into ruin.

But now the building has been restored to its original former glory as part of a three year programme of regeneration for the museum, supported by the Heritage Lottery Fund and Harrow Council.

Jo Saunders, heritage and museum manager, said: “We really look forward to opening The Great Barn’s massive doors to the public and make this unique building available for community events and weddings.

“This is just the start of a thrilling three year programme of regeneration for the museum, supported by the Heritage Lottery Fund and Harrow Council which will see all of the buildings brought into self-supporting use.”

The whole roof has been repaired, external doors replaced along with sections of the external boarding, and heating, a new kitchen, cloakrooms and lighting have been installed.

The timber-framed barn’s vaulted structure remains largely as it was built, standing at nearly 48 metres long, 8 metres wide and over 9 metres high.

Now licenced for civil ceremonies, the first wedding at the Great Barn takes place on November 7.

At a glittering reception for supporters of the Great Barn at Headstone Manor, Cllr Sue Anderson said:

“This site is steeped in history and the character of the building is a significant part of Harrow.

“I am looking forward to the reactions of the local community when they see the changes that have been made to the Great Barn and I am sure that it will become one of the most popular settings for weddings and events in London.”

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Nothing brings out the ugly in people like family functions—specifically, weddings and funerals.

A Reddit user, who we’ll call “Sam,” turned to the message board for advice regarding his sister-in-law’s forthcoming nuptials. The sister-in-law, who we’ll call “Alice,” is preparing to tie the knot in Milan, Italy. Naturally, she asked her sister, Sam’s wife, to be a bridesmaid. Unfortunately, the trip falls on the weekend of Sam’s 30th birthday and even worse, he’s not invited. Oh yeah, his wife is considering accepting Alice’s bridesmaid invitation. Sam explains:

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My wife told me a couple of days ago her sister would be getting married on the weekend of my 30th birthday, on the other side of the world. I will have to stay home, alone, with our toddler for a week taking care of him. Alone. I’m pretty deeply upset she is even considering being a part of this.

Apparently, it’s no surprise to Sam that Alice blacklisted him from attending her wedding because they have never gotten along.

Her sister has always had it out for me since the beginning of our relationship (8yrs). She is a doctor and looks down on any and all people who don’t have MD’s and JD’s. She tried to break apart our relationship in all stages but because my wife and I have a great relationship and her and her sister do not, these attempts have always been brushed off as being sourced in her superficiality.

According to Sam, he’s welcome to join his wife in Italy, but he’ll have to do something to occupy himself during the ceremony because he’s not welcome. And while funding his wife’s trip to Milan would put somewhat of a strain on their finances, it’s not completely impossible. However, it will mean sacrificing his birthday vacation that they planned together.

I’m not invited. I was told I “could” come to Italy but have nothing to do with the wedding aka, take care of the kiddo and generally be alone. No thanks. My wife doesn’t want to fly for 18ish hours alone with our son so I will be home alone with a 2 year old on my 30th birthday. No family or friends in our area (rural) we are a very strong family unit and last year for her 30th birthday we all went to Hawaii. Her going to Milan would be the budget we had planned for my birthday vacation (far more modest- a weekend driving getaway to a NP).

She thinks I’m overreacting and should respect “her family” despite them showing me absolutely none. Am I that wrong to be upset about this?

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The marriage of Miss Helen Elizabeth Forman to Mr. John Adams Dille IV took place on Saturday, July 25, 2015, at Cannon Memorial Chapel in Richmond, Virginia. The Reverend Steven Mark Browne officiated. The bride is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Gregory Anthony Forman of Richmond. She is the granddaughter of the late Mr. and Mrs. Allen Dotson Steele, formerly of Delray Beach, Florida, and the late Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Jerome Forman Jr., formerly of Charlotte, North Carolina. The groom is the son of Mr. and Mrs. John Adams Dille III of Tappahannock, Virginia. He is the grandson of Mrs. Claude Havens Hardy of Amelia and the late Mr. Hardy, and Mr. and Mrs.

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James Cross Barnes Jr. of Arlington and the late Mr. John Adams Dille Jr., formerly of Roanoke. The bride was given in marriage by her father. Her dress of satin and illusion was fashioned with a scalloped embroidered lace bodice and a chapel-length train. With her bouquet she carried an heirloom handkerchief embroidered with the initials of the grooms’ paternal grandparents. Miss Anne Mills Forman of Richmond, sister of the bride, served as maid of honor. Bridesmaids were Miss Susan Allison Steele of Orlando and Mrs. Douglas Thomas Johnson of Delray Beach, both cousins of the bride. Also attending the bride were Miss Hannah Joy Hopper and Miss Stacy Nicole Roberts of Midlothian and Miss Jessica Helen Waguespack of Chester. Mr. Martin Minter Dille of Tappahannock, brother of the groom, served as best man. Groomsmen were Mr. Matthew William Allen of Dillwyn, the Reverend Jeremy Shane Gallagher of Tappahannock, Mr. Walter Scott Garber of King William, Mr. Chase Laine-Albert Baldwin of Buford, Georgia, and Mr. Stuart Thomas Welch of Northeast, Maryland. Scripture readers were Mr. Matthew Wright Garbark and Mr. Richard Stephen Garbark of Baltimore, Maryland, cousins of the bride.

Following the ceremony, the bride’s parents hosted a reception at The Commonwealth Club. On Friday evening, the groom’s parents hosted the rehearsal dinner at the University of Richmond. Also on Friday, a bridal luncheon was given at Portico, hosted by the bride’s godmother, Mrs. Timothy David O’Donoghue, and aunts, Mrs. Stephen Thomas Garbark, Mrs. Arthur Francis Forman, Mrs. Anthony Joseph Forman and Mrs. Charles Howard Hodge. The bride is a graduate of Trinity Episcopal School and Longwood University, where she is currently completing her master’s degree in Counseling. The groom is a graduate of Essex High School and Hampden-Sydney College. He currently serves as Youth Director at Richmond Community Church and is pursuing Seminary Studies. The couple traveled to Florida and the Bahamas on their wedding trip. They reside in Glen Allen, Virginia.

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Everybody cries at weddings — brides, grooms, parents, friends, sometimes virtual strangers. Really, it’s almost mandatory.

“Oh, exactly,” Greta Perske said. “A very happy cry.”

In that sense, everything went pretty much according to form Oct. 10 when Greta married Tony Hokanson at Celebration Lutheran Church in Sartell.

But some of the tears that flowed freely into that evening were for an entirely different reason.

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“The wedding was filled with tears of joy. To me, it was nothing short of a miracle,” said Joe Perske, father of the bride. “It was a day we didn’t know if it would happen.”

“It was just amazing,” added Jan Perske, the bride’s mom. “The emotions can just take over.”

These also were tears of gratitude — especially during the reception, when the bride danced with a 51-year-old man whom she had met exactly once before.

This was the man who made the wedding possible, the man whose generosity saved Greta’s life.

“It was special for me, too,” said Danny Daniels, an Arkansas resident whose bone marrow donation in 2007 was pivotal for a Minnesota high school girl with leukemia. “I’m just very humbled that it worked out as well as it did for her.”

“I can’t even describe what that feeling is,” Greta said. “There’s the man who saved my life, standing right in front of me.

“He didn’t have to do what he did, but he did.”

He did.

Greta Perske is now a 24-year-old college graduate, a nurse and a newlywed, all because eight years ago a man she had never met gave her a gift.

Fighting leukemia

Sartell High School had just begun soccer practice in the fall of 2006 when Greta — a sophomore three-sport athlete — realized something was wrong.

“We just thought she had a bad cold,” Joe said. “We thought it might be exercise-induced asthma.”

“She was playing soccer — and you need to put ‘playing soccer’ in quotation marks — and she was very fatigued,” Jan said. “She wasn’t playing soccer like she can play soccer.”

It was leukemia. Greta struggled through the season with her state tournament-bound team, but didn’t respond to treatments.

“It just ripped us to the core,” Joe said.

By March 2007, Greta was very sick and on the waiting list for a marrow transplant. One was located through BeTheMatch.org, a national registry that matches patients with compatible donors.

That donor was Daniels, who had registered because of a personal loss.

“It was due to a friend of mine, when I was in the Arkansas Air National Guard,” Daniels said. “One of our members became ill, and needed a bone marrow transplant. That’s why my wife (Angie) and I signed up then.”

“He said to me, ‘I’ve spent my whole life saving lives in the Air National Guard,’ ” Jan recalled. “ ‘Why wouldn’t I save the life of a 16-year-old girl in Minnesota?’ ”

Life inspiration

Greta, Joe and Jan met Daniels for the first time about two years after the transplant, which inspired Greta’s decision to go into nursing.

“I was always planning to be a teacher, and then that happened,” said Greta, whose parents and two older sisters are all teachers. She works at United Hospital in Minneapolis.

“Then I said, ‘That’s what I want to do. I want to help save lives, too. I want to give back.’ ”

Her story also resonated with Hokanson, whom she met four years ago through mutual friends.

“Tony’s mom died of cancer when he was 5,” Greta said, “so he knows the whole cancer thing, too. Of course, that story ended a little differently.”

Their story, meanwhile, progressed to planning a wedding — a wedding that wouldn’t have happened without Daniels.

“Exactly,” Greta said. “I can’t thank him enough.”

Greta and Tony sent the invitation.

Down in Barling, Arkansas, Danny and Angie hopped into the car.

Going to a party

It’s a 12-hour drive from Barling to Sartell, which gave Daniels a lot of time to reflect on the past eight years.

“Greta and I kinda stay in touch every now and then,” said Daniels, who works as a logistics coordinator for a company that does government contracts for unmanned aerial vehicles.

“It was special for me, too. I may have teared up a couple times. Luckily, my wife was there to help me through it.”

There was a lot of that going on during the reception at Kelly Inn, which went through countless tissues.

“Instant tears, of course,” Greta said of greeting Daniels in the reception line. “Unbelievable.”

“I said in my speech at the wedding, ‘Danny, we told you this before — you didn’t just save Greta’s life, you saved all of our lives,’ ” Jan said.

“Because he donated his marrow and was willing to go through that procedure to save your daughter’s life — how do you thank somebody?”

Rousing reception

The Perskes did it publicly at the reception, where Daniels was introduced to the celebrants as Greta’s marrow donor.

“He got a standing ovation that was better than any of the claps I got throughout the campaign,” laughed Joe, who unsuccessfully ran for the U.S. House of Representatives in Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District in 2014.

“That was pretty special — unnecessary, because I was there for her,” Daniels said. “It’s kind of a blur.

“We had a nice conversation while we were dancing. She got emotional — I tried to hold it together. I hope I did.”

Better than most people, as it turned out.

“From the time I walked her down the aisle all the way through the evening,” Joe said, “there were many, many tears.”

Tears of joy

Greta and Tony are honeymooning in the Dominican Republic this week before returning home to Minnetonka.

The bride still deals with peripheral physical aftereffects of leukemia, but she’s moving ahead with her life.

“She’s got some complications,” Jan said, “and she needs her knee joints replaced. But she’s alive.”

“When I tell people my story at work, they’re like, ‘I never would have guessed,’ “ Greta said. “I’ve got a lot of joint problems, and my hormones are all messed up.”

Still, that’s nothing compared to what this could have been — and probably would have been, if not for Daniels.

“I’m humbled by all of it,” he said. “I just thank God that I was able to help someone.”

Danny Daniels also made everybody cry. But this was a good cry.

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