My sister skipped my wedding and my dad is mad at me

Dear Dr. Marcia,

My husband and I had a small wedding, which we paid for ourselves.

We invited only immediate family members and just a couple of our very close friends.

My husband’s brother had been going out with a girl for only a couple of months so we did not invite him with a guest and he had absolutely no problem with that.

Intimate moments togetherImages: wedding dresses online australia

My sister was another story.

It seems like every time we see her at a family function she’s with a different guy. She gets way too serious way too fast and has told guys she loves them on a second date. She also talks about how much she wants to get married and have a baby by the time she’s 30. She is 27 years old now.

I told her she is scaring them away but she can’t help herself.

Needless to say, she was also not invited with a guest. Much to my disappointment, she did not come to my wedding. She did not even tell me she wasn’t coming but just did not show up. I was disappointed in the choice she made but not that upset about it.

The weekend after we came home from our honeymoon, we had dinner at my parents house. We were of course talking about the wedding, and my father told me how upset he was with me for excluding my sister. I told him she was invited just not with a guest because we did not want a stranger that we would be meeting for the first time at our wedding, and that her not attending was her choice.

We had some serious words over it and my husband defended me and my father made a comment to him that this was between him and his daughters. I then defended my husband saying it was our wedding and our decision not to invite her or his brother with a guest.

I told him my brother-in-law had no problem with it even though he had been seeing his girl for three months. I have not talked to my sister since before the wedding but want to resolve this. Please help.

Signed,

Stumped

Dear Stumped,

Be the mature one and invite your sister to coffee or dinner out. Tell her how much you missed her being at your wedding.

Keep the conversation positive – explain to her why she AND your brother-in-law were invited without guests. Make certain not to discuss her dating history or why she can’t keep a boyfriend.

Tell her you did not mean to hurt her feelings as you hope she did not mean to hurt you – and that you want the two of you to be able to move on from this.

Unfortunately – if she still chooses to be immature – you just have to wait for her to grow up.

Either way – explain to your parents that you took the initiative and spoke to her to try to resolve the situation.

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