先週に引き続き、また昔行った事のある所の試合に行ってきました。
高校時代に３回大会に出て３回とも初戦負けを喫した懐かしの場所。
クレーコートが沢山並ぶ大きなテニスクラブ。
こちらも訪れたのは高校生の時に大会に出て以来。７年振りか。
コートがすごい下にあって何だか緊張した記憶が鮮明に蘇る。
会場に集まっているのは誰もが大会慣れした強そうな人ばっかに感じ、勝手に雰囲気に飲まれ、３回出ておきながら最後まで落ち着かなかった。
人が沢山いる中へ一人でいって、どうしていればいいか分からなかった。
全部の試合がいくら頑張って打っても得点に結び付かず、自分がミスって、突き抜けられないまま一試合で帰宅。
当時の自分は根負けって言っていたが結局全部それで克服できなかった。
まともな試合ができるレベルに至っていなかったのだ。
地肌がうっすらと見えるクレーコートはまるで自分のボールの勢いを削ぎ、相手のボールに見慣れない嫌なバウンドをさせ(イレギュラーではない)、フットワークも重たくさせる。
自分の中のこのコートには苦しい思い出が詰まっている。
トラウマ払拭ツアー２戦目である。
結果としては2勝3敗。
この日までの今年の勝ち負けは18試合 14勝 4敗という自分にはありえない謎の好成績だったのを汚す結果に。
いや、こういう謎の好成績は積極的に汚すべきなのだ。
自分に厳しいレベルをやっていかないといつまでたっても進歩しないだろうと思う。
今年初めての0-6も頂く事ができた。
自分がラリー２球以上続けられないレベルの差の人とテニスできる機会なんて滅多に貰えるものじゃない。
ボールが自分より速く、軌道が高く、バウンド後の伸びが長いショットをラリーで普通に何発も打たれてしまったら何もできない。
オマケに外に跳ねるサーブに反応できない。
打った事の無いボールが相手じゃ最低限にすら返せないから、自分のレベルが低過ぎてテニスにならなかったね。
このレベルの相手と打つ機会が無いから現状大会でばったり当たってしまったら作戦もクソも無い。
参ったものだ。
それにしても今回の試合は大負けしたが、ここ最近の試合ではギアを上げる為に序盤は我慢という事を意識している。
しかし週末の趣味テニスで、ストレスの解消になるであろうところで敢て我慢するという作戦はどうなのだろうかとも思う。
前回も今回も消極的に繋ぎから入ったが、それは大胆にラケットを振って攻めると高い確率で自滅するという心配からだ。
自滅なんてすれば勝てるはずも無いし思い通りにならないストレスが溜まって行く。
しかし繋いでいっても調子が上がらなければ最後まで不完全燃焼。
やっぱテニスはバコってなんぼでしょって、というか、好き勝手バコるだけで勝てたら楽だし楽しいだろうなと思う。
でもそんなおいしい話は無いですよねぇ。
今も昔も結局全然変わってない根性無しのままな気がする。
集中力の無い雑でいい加減な人間なのかな。
そういう人間は周囲からどういう目で見られるのやら。
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